Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
