THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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