the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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