He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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