Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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