just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
