smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
