i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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