i was born a porn star she said
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
