Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
