I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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