Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
