My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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