My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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