porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize