Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I need a beard to bite.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
