I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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