so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize