lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
