He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
