I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize