i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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