is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
