Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
being pregnant is like rehab
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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