i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
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I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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Who died my cat blue again?
I would fuck him just for his dog
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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