never play flip cup with pint glasses
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
