i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just gargled with NyQuil
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
