just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
