Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
