I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
