Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
