I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
