3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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