so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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