BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i now understand why vodka
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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