i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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