And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
