i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
