I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
