I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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