of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
