I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
