Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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