i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
