Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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