my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
