BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
