you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
