Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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