Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
