evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
