we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
