I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
