I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
