I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
