Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
