There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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