I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
