Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
