I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
