hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
