look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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